I'd Tell You I Hate You, But Then I'd Be Lying
by Southern-Bound-Soul
Summary: This story takes place after "I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have To Kill You" by Ally Carter before book #2.this is a Cammie/Josh story of what happened right after he leaves the academy at the end of the book. T rate cuz of language
1. Chapter 1 After A Breakdown

"_**All day and all night**_

_**My desire for you**_

_**Unwinds like a poisonous snake."**_

_**-Saman Sen, "Love"**_

**Chapter 1-After A Breakdown**

"Just call him already," she said while examining her cuticles, "it's not like he's gonna have another date this soon after a large event like this."

"But what if he doesn't answer his phone again or takes out a restraining order against me or-"

"JUST. CALL. HIM. He's gonna have to answer it some time or another to get you to leave him alone." After she said this, she rolled her eyes at me and sighed.

"But… But maybe he still won't talk to me. Maybe he thinks that because I go here, I'm a selfish, spoiled brat."Maybe, if he does think that, it's true… and completely horrible.

"Honey, your not gonna keep saying those things because if you do, they will come true…" Then, she was staring at me with a very thoughtful expression that showed in her eyes and then a slow grin spread across her face. "I know exactly what we are going to do with her."

"Oh no, what are you up to now?" I started to panic. What could she be thinking about that would make her grin like an idiot? I hope it doesn't involve another spy mission because the last time it did, my heart got ripped in half and it didn't turn out very good with everyone else either…

"Oh, nothing much. Just thinking that we need to get you out of this place for awhile, so… let's all get spiced up and have a night out on the town."

"I see where your going with this…I think…"

"Do you really know what I'm talking about?"

"Honestly? Not a single clue. Sorry."

"Okay just give me a few minutes of thinking time to finish thinking it through…"

"Okaaay, can someone please explain to me why we're even bothering with this guy. Apparently, he can't handle her being a spy and also can't handle a secret or else he would be all over he like a fruit fly in the middle of summer at a peach tree. He seems as though he's lost it with not talking to you anymore."

"Well, for one, he was her first boyfriend. So yeah, she's still going to want him. Second, she didn't technically lie to him, she just twisted the truth around, and that takes guts in my opinion, which should make her seem trustworthy to him. And the last reason," she turned and looked at me with such intensity that I cringed, "WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE AOUT EITHER OF YOU?" She exclaimed this and fell onto her bed with an overly dramatic sigh.

"Crap-ola for breakfast anyone? I agree with you on that one, but still, I don't think it's right to keep torturing him or me for that matter. I think we should just let life take it's course and let it take us where ever it wants to." Then, I sat there for awhile tuning them out until they were done trying to convince me to call him one more time. When they realized it wasn't going to work and they were quiet, I got up and walked over to the closet.

"So who wants to go have a girl's night out on the town?" I asked them hoping it would cheer them up greatly…and secretly hoping it would cheer me up too.

"Alright!"

"That's what I'm talking about!"

"Let's go make those town boys drool like idiots!"

Then I cursed under my breath because I really wasn't expecting this much enthusiasm.

Well, after about 4 hours of torture from my roommates/ friends, I'd have to say that I looked pretty damned HOT.

"Okay guys, what do y'all think of the new and improved me?" As I said this, I was spinning around as best as I could to show them the new me. My outfit was totally badass: black, knee high skirt with a slit in the side that goes all the way up to the middle of my right thigh, a red halter top that plunges low in the front and back, and a pair of 4-inch black heels.

"Well, if I were him I'd probably drop dead because I would be thinking something along the lines of this: 'Damn, I totally should have called her back or responded to her calls' or 'Man, you blew it big time. You shouldn't have blown her off like that.'" Then she stopped, considered her words for a few and started again. "But then again I'm not a guy, so his thoughts might be a little more obscene or even R-rated."

"O my gosh! Do you think it's too much?" I asked this hoping I wasn't going to start hyperventilating. Then I went to try to straighten out my newly curled hair and was stopped by a strong hand and a warning of "Don't even think about it."

"Hmm, actually I think you could use some more dramatic eye shadow, brighter red lipstick, and some red jewelry."


	2. Chapter 2 Party Plans

NOTE::::::: i do not own any of this except maybe for a few of josh's friends...plus i am looking to see if this part is ok because this is only a little bit of chapter 2, message me or review if you want more! thnx!

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"_**Blackbird singing in the dead of night,**_

_**take these broken wings and learn to fly. **_

_**All your life, **_

_**you were only waiting for this moment to arise."**_

_**-The Beatles "Blackbird"**_

**Chapter 2 ~ Party Plans**

(Walking from the academy to town.)

"Okay, so where are we off to first?" I asked.

"Umm, why not the theatre first?" Liz suggested.

"Hmmm, the playground at the park sounds better." Bex said with a grin.

"I've got an idea." Macey said. "How about the playground then the theatre and then the pharmacy for ice cream and snacks!"I noted that she said this a little too enthusiastically for her own good because then I started to panic and stopped midstride, figuring out her plan. Josh, a.k.a. my ex, works at the pharmacy because his dad owns it.

"No, no no no no no, please tell me you're not planning on really taking us to the pharmacy." I pleaded with her because I really wasn't ready to meet him, but deep down I was anxious and wanting to see him again. I became very hopeful at this idea but tried not to let it show. My thoughts started speeding up. What if he takes me back? What if he hates me? Has he forgiven me? Has he moved away? Did he move on? I was starting to feel faint after that last thought….

"…did you?" Liz asked, and that's when I noticed I zoned out and she was talking to me. Wow, spy school never prepares you for dating troubles even though I can kill with a bead, thanks to my training.

"Huh, what?" I berated myself because I wasn't focused and because I'm a spy I should be focused 24/7.

"As I said before: You. Can. Do. This! You didn't get all dolled up just to get out did you?" She asked again.

"Oh, umm….No I guess not." I sighed with resignation, because now I knew exactly what my friends' plan was.

Now that I understood her plan, I was kinda ready to see him again to show him that I was doing better than ok without him. _I wonder if any of his friends are cute and if they'd like to go out with me, just to get back at him. Although they might go out with me just 'cuz of what I'm wearing…..good enough for me…._Whhat? I couldn't believe I was thinking about that stuff after he just broke up with me.

"Okay then, here's the plan," as I said this, they looked at me with astonishment on their faces and surprise in their eyes, "we'll go to the playground for awhile just to see if we can find any of his friends. If we do get lucky and meet up with a few of his friends, then we will put our charm to work and invite them to go to the pharmacy with us for ice cream then head to the theatre for a movie or two. Now, Liz don't be too shy, Bex don't be too assertive, and Macey just do your thing. If this plan goes through, then maybe we'll run into Josh and-"

"It'd be better if we invite the same number of guys to come that way he'll think each of us has a date and they'll be his friends so that'll be a double whammy. Otherwise, Josh'll just think that we were hanging with his friends and it won't bother him but so much. Do you get what I'm saying?" Macey said with an evil glint in her eyes. Good, we were on the same page…

"Perfect! Exactly what I was thinking!" I said with enthusiasm and the same evil glint in my eyes. "Ok, so here's what we are gonna do…."

* * *

While I was waiting on my large chocolate soft-serve ice cream to be ready, I looked around at our success for part one of my plan. We managed to scrape up a few of his friends, one for each of us mind you, and watched how everyone was discussing which movie we should watch.

"A chick flick!"

"Action!"

"Romance!"

"Comedy!"

Hmmm, they sure are indecisive on it…..I'll have to decide the movie then I guess and it would have to be-

"Here you go hun, and it's nice to see y'all again."

"Oh, yeah, thanks and nice to see you again too." Wow, I wasn't expecting to see Josh's mom tonight or even this late as a matter of fact. Then it struck me…

"Um, excuse me? Do you know where Josh is?" As I asked her this, the group gave me a look and then exchanged looks with each other.

"Honestly sweetie, I wouldn't know. If I did he would be working the ice cream machine instead of me!" She said while lightly laughing. "He's been spending so much time away lately, but if I catch wind of where he's at, I'll be sure to let you know." She winked and disappeared around a corner.

"Uh, actually I know where he's at right now. Actually he's always there." My date for the night, Tim, said. He had a sad look in his eyes as he said this.


	3. Chapter 3 Suspicious Plans

yet again, i do not own except for the characters who do not appear in the story!

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"_**Hell is oneself,**_

_**Hell is alone."**_

_**-T.S. Eliot**_

**Chapter 3~ Suspicious Plans**

"So, Tim…You said you knew where he was at. Would you mind telling us about it or is it gonna take some persuading for you to share?" I politely inquired.

"Cammie, you are seriously not planning on going to see him are you? Please, please, please tell me you aren't gonna?" Bex asked me with suspicion in her eyes.

"No, no. Nothing like that, I promise."I glanced anxiously at the boys. "Umm, just have an idea is all. Something that the guys may or may not get." I added in a whisper.

"Cammie," Macey said in a soft tone, "what's wrong?" That's when I realized I was staring off into space without acknowledging anyone.

"Oh umm, nothing I guess. Just thinking." I said

"Feel like sharing?" Liz asked.

"Yeah, kinda feeling left out here Cammie." Bex said with a stern look on that ever serious look.

"First, the guys can't hear it until I explain." As I turned to the guys, I asked: "Would y'all mind giving us a few minutes to talk, girly stuff you know." I said with as much innocence as possible. And the girls gave the same looks which kinda helped 'cuz they started to give us some distance before we started talking.

"I know exactly what you were spacing about." Liz said with triumph. "I think you were wanting to take a detour?"

"Exactly!" I said with relief. "I didn't know how else to say it. But yeah, us with a guy each, walks by acting like we are having a blast, which I know we will, and just seeming like we don't notice him. What do y'all think?"

"Maybe it'll work. Let me do the explaining to the guys and I'll let them know like the basics." Macey said with a wink.

That's when I started laughing and said, "You never cease to amaze me at what you can do Macey."

_**"Did they ever, I wonder,**_  
_**Ever wonder**_  
_**How I feel**_  
_**To have lost**_  
_**You?**_  
_**Did they ever wonder**_  
_**How I have felt**_  
_**To no longer**_  
_**Know **_  
_**You?**_  
_**A silence,**_  
_**A vigil,**_  
_**I will sit and wait**_  
_**Until you finally**_  
_**See**_  
_**Realize**_  
_**Believe**_  
_**Know**_  
_**That this**_  
_**Is me, and**_  
_**Not them**_  
_**And not anyone **_  
_**Else,**_  
_**And most certainly**_  
_**Not a lie**_  
_**Or a fantasy**_  
_**Or a story**_  
_**Made up for **_  
_**Pleasure and delight**_  
_**Without meaning,**_  
_**I stay**_  
_**To wait."**_

**_-"Patience" by wolfbyte22, quizilla on teennick_**

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…..and that's all I have for now, pm me if you have ideas and names for josh's friends!

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10/28/10 ok so author update:

my computer wont let me upload from my macbooks pages program so im going to have to complain to fanfiction about this but

im like really bogged down with schoolwork right now and preparing for my summer trip to washington so i might be really slow with updates, but the good thing is is that i have my own laptop now so i can type my story whenever i want to and upload it as soon as i finish the next chapter! sorry for updating slower than a snail but im trying my best! thx for the support!


	4. Chapter 4

Ok so I have not worked on this story in a long time, for that I am sorry but something else has snagged my attention. The writing of this fantale actually got me into the mood of starting my own story, that and the inspiration of one of my best friends Melanie Fair who has published her own novel recently (which I promote all the time because I am so proud of her). So therefore I do not know when I shall start back on this project, once again I am sorry.

~S 8/22/11


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